Kenny's Lament
by Cedro Beggins
Summary: Everyone in Southpark has their own secrets, each of which are seemingly disconnected from each other. This is what Kenny thought until he decided to curiously pull at a small thread of evidence only to find his world unravelling before his eyes. Join him on a journey of hatred, lust and depravity as he struggles to come to terms with what really goes on behind closed doors.


It was one of those long, dark winter nights. The wind rattled the shutters outside of a sleeping Kenny's window, cold seeping in through the single glazed window causing him to shiver in his sleep. In desperation he pulls the covers over his head to try retain any warmth he could. He was dreaming about living somewhere which had milder winters or at the very least central heating.

Next door, a single figure was curled up in the double bed. The single heat source for their home (a small, portable heater) was propped up at the foot of her bed, max settings. Even still, the warmth was losing the battle against the cold. Stuart and Carol had been fighting, more out of habit than necessity and as Carol rolled over onto her side, her tearstained face and swollen eye was an obvious sign that she had lost. Whatever they were fighting about would be forgotten by tomorrow morning, but the bruises will still be there to remind Carol that she lost… again.

Stuart left the house and headed towards the local bar in an attempt to escape the sobs of his wife. He didn't really take note of who was in the bar when he entered, but he watched as people came and went out of his peripherals as hit downed pint after pint. He was on his 8th pint when he heard the sweet voice behind him. "Oh, you're in such a state tonight, did the South Park Cows lose again, or is this a different occasion?"

"Now listen here you little…" Stuart began as he turned around only to find himself face to face with Liane Cartman. "… Bitch." He let out a sigh as he tried to pull a chair out for her, but missed the first couple of times at which point Liane did it herself and delicately took a seat next to him.

"What brings you round 'ere?" Asked Stuart, failing to hold a burp back as well as to keep his posture within a socially acceptable standard.

Liane gave out a childish giggle when she replied "Oh you know exactly why I'm here, Stuart." She leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear "Let me give you a little reminder". Before Stuart even realised what was going on, she had a firm grip of his crotch.

Feeling Liane's fingers tightly squeeze his member definitely brought Stuart back down to reality. "Hey-hey hey! not so tight woman, geeze!"

Liane's grip tightened as he protested. "Where's my money, Stuart? You obviously have enough stashed somewhere for rainy days like these, how else would you drown your pitiful sorrows in a bar like this."

Stuart tried his best to remember, searching every nook and cranny of his conscious mind, interrogating each part and trying to find what he was repressing. Eventually, he found the memory sitting somewhere between the two compartments in his head that controlled his lust and impulse sat a black hole which began to unwrap as he approached it. The surface of the black hole turned into a screen, and on it the thing he was trying to avoid.

"I-I don't have a grand just lying around like that…" Stuart groaned whilst trying to maintain a painless expression. "But you know I'm a man of my word, Ill get the money to you- by tomorrow!" He rushed through these words that he didn't understand the full implication of what he had just said.

"Well, if this isn't déjà vu I don't know what is" Liane smiled as she relaxed her grip leaning onto the counter in a much more comfortable, casual way. "Say, if you somehow get the money tomorrow, I want you to pick up my little poopsykins after school and buy him some ice-cream, sound good?" Liane smiled sweetly at Stuart, taking a sip from her drink savouring the moment.

"Sure-sure whatever, can you just give me one more chance okay?" Stuart hurriedly tried to play down the situation as their conversation was the focus of many ears at the bar. At this point, Stuart would have agreed to anything that Liane proposed, doing his best to get back to drinking in peace. 

Kenny's stomach was rumbling as he woke the next morning. He was greeted by a sheet of steel grey clouds and an inch of fresh snow outside his window as he blearily drew the curtains. Kenny slipped out of his PJ's, throwing them over a solitary chair and put on a (relatively) clean white t-shirt and a pair of aged jeans before throwing his orange parker on and heading downstairs to get his breakfast before school. The fresh bruises on his mother's face confirmed his suspicions from yesterday, she laid a bowl of cereal in front of him and his two siblings "Alright kids, eat up!" Carol sniffed, trying to avoid their eyes.

"Where's dad?" Kenny wanted to ask, but considering what his mother has been through last night he wouldn't blame her if she didn't care. He ate the cereal which was mostly cereal and definitely not enough milk in silence, pretending that it was a bowl of warm soup to bring some warmth to the start of his day. Kenny left the house after saying goodbye to his mother, and splitting away from his two siblings, he went to the bus stop where he would finally feel like he was at home. As Kenny walked up, he could hear Stan and Kyle having a heated debate, from the distance he was at he couldn't make out what the subject was, but it seemed like Stan was winning. Kenny smiled into his parker as he heard Kyle shout at Stan, even though these debates happen so often Kyle always puts his heart into it.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Kenny" replied Kyle and Stan in tandem.

"Dude, what does your dad do when he's not working?" Asked Stan.

"Drinks, smokes and beats my mom" Kenny replied in an almost sarcastic tone.

"Aha, see, told you he would just get drunk all the time" Stan exclaimed at Kyle, just laughing off the last part as hyperbole.

"His dad is not an alcoholic because he's poor, he's poor because he's an alcoholic, there's a difference." Kyle retorted at Stan but unlike him stumbled as he processed the last part of what Kenny had mumbled through his parker. "Wait-what? He beats your mom? Weak dude!"

"Damn dude, …really?" Stan chimed in, seeing that Kyle took the last part a bit more seriously than he did. Surprised at their replies, without intending, Kenny found himself at the centre of the conversation. He pulled on the cords to his parker hood tight in embarrassment. "Can we not talk about this right now…" This obviously wasn't something Kenny wanted to air out in public. The awkward silence around the three of them was only broken by the very distinct, distant sound of Cartman wheezing from laughter as he approached the bus stop.

"…hahahahahaha, you guys! you guys! You will - not believe - what I heard!" Cartman was yelling between deep breaths. He skidded to a halt in front of the trio and bent over panting for air, the short run from his house was obviously too much exercise for someone of his calibre. Kenny relaxed a little bit as the focus of the conversation was shifted to Eric.

Curious as to what could cause Eric to be so happy Kyle asked "What is it this time, fatass?" from previous experiences, he knew to never expect good news whenever Eric was happy about something.

"So yesterday I was watching some super boring stuff on the TV, so I asked my mom if she liked watching me suffer watching this garbage when I could easily be enjoying myself playing on a new Sexbox and she said something about not being able to afford it, which was a joke right, you'd think we were as poor as Kenny's family …" at this point he couldn't help but snigger to himself a little after looking over at Kenny. "… It turns out, Kenny's dad owes my mom money, I overheard her talking to him on the phone and she was all like 'Where's my money, you little faggot' and he was like ' I'm sorry I'm sorry I'll get you your money I promise even though I'm completely broke ' so she went …" Eric's voice had trailed off as he noticed the three of them looking at him in bemusement, Stan visibly on the brink of laughter. "What?"

Glad that Eric had taken a break from his relentless story, stan bursts out in laughter "The fuck is a Sexbox?" replied Stan, looking over at Kyle who had a large grin on his face.

"It's the new xbox, retards, only cool people know about." Seeing the grins grow on Stan and Kyles face he blustered on "It stands for Series X, Xbox aka…" He drew a deep breath to emphasise the importance of the next word to pass between his chapped lips "…The Sexbox- and only the really cool people know about it so it is no surprise you guys don't know what it is!" he tagged on the last part after he noticed that this only made Stan and Kyle laugh harder.

"Are you kidding me?" Kyle said incredulously. "Why in the hell would anyone want to buy a … a sexbox" he couldn't help but laugh as he said it. "can you imagine all the kids asking their parents for a sexbox? Its gotta be a joke, right?" Kyle looked around to Stan and Kenny who were still laughing.


End file.
